How the hell is it October already? That’s kind of disturbing. Anyway, happy third quarter, everyone! In the first half of this year, I read 48 books (26 in January – March, 22 in April – June). Over the last three months I added 25 more books to that total (I’m sorry, I just love the analytics buttons on Goodreads — be glad that I’m not subjecting you to my ongoing page counts for the year), of which 7 were so good as to blow my mind and be included in this quarter’s update!
The order is not in terms of the magnitude of my affection for each book, but just the order that I read them.
1. Uprooted by Naomi Novik
Naomi Novik, author of the bestselling and critically acclaimed Temeraire novels, introduces a bold new world rooted in folk stories and legends, as elemental as a Grimm fairy tale.
“Our Dragon doesn’t eat the girls he takes, no matter what stories they tell outside our valley. We hear them sometimes, from travelers passing through. They talk as though we were doing human sacrifice, and he were a real dragon. Of course that’s not true: he may be a wizard and immortal, but he’s still a man, and our fathers would band together and kill him if he wanted to eat one of us every ten years. He protects us against the Wood, and we’re grateful, but not that grateful.”
Agnieszka loves her valley home, her quiet village, the forests and the bright shining river. But the corrupted Wood stands on the border, full of malevolent power, and its shadow lies over her life.
Her people rely on the cold, driven wizard known only as the Dragon to keep its powers at bay. But he demands a terrible price for his help: one young woman handed over to serve him for ten years, a fate almost as terrible as falling to the Wood.
The next choosing is fast approaching, and Agnieszka is afraid. She knows—everyone knows—that the Dragon will take Kasia: beautiful, graceful, brave Kasia, all the things Agnieszka isn’t, and her dearest friend in the world. And there is no way to save her.
But Agnieszka fears the wrong things. For when the Dragon comes, it is not Kasia he will choose.
2. The Teahouse Fire by Ellis Avery
The story of two women whose lives intersect in late-nineteenth-century Japan, The Teahouse Fire is also a portrait of one of the most fascinating places and times in all of history—Japan as it opens its doors to the West. It was a period when wearing a different color kimono could make a political statement, when women stopped blackening their teeth to profess an allegiance to Western ideas, and when Japan’s most mysterious rite—the tea ceremony—became not just a sacramental meal, but a ritual battlefield.
We see it all through the eyes of Aurelia, an American orphan adopted by the Shin family, proprietors of a tea ceremony school, after their daughter, Yukako, finds her hiding on their grounds. Aurelia becomes Yukako’s closest companion, and they, the Shin family, and all of Japan face a time of great challenges and uncertainty. Told in an enchanting and unforgettable voice, The Teahouse Fire is a lively, provocative, and lushly detailed historical novel of epic scope and compulsive readability.
3. Paladin of Souls by Lois McMaster Bujold
Follow Lois McMaster Bujold, one of the most honored authors in the field of fantasy and science fiction, to a land threatened by treacherous war and beset by demons — as a royal dowager, released from the curse of madness and manipulated by an untrustworthy god, is plunged into a desperate struggle to preserve the endangered souls of a realm.
4. So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed by Jon Ronson
For the past three years, Jon Ronson has traveled the world meeting recipients of high-profile public shamings. The shamed are people like us, people who, say, made a joke on social media that came out badly or made a mistake at work. Once the transgression is revealed, collective outrage circles with the force of a hurricane and the next thing they know, they’re being torn apart by an angry mob, jeered at, demonized, sometimes even fired from their job.
A great renaissance of public shaming is sweeping our land. Justice has been democratized. The silent majority are getting a voice, but what are we doing with our voice? We are mercilessly finding people’s faults. We are defining the boundaries of normality by ruining the lives of those outside it. We are using shame as a form of social control.
Simultaneously powerful and hilarious in the way only Jon Ronson can be, So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed is a deeply honest book about modern life, full of eye-opening truths about the escalating war on human flaws and the very scary part we all play in it.
5. Blood Matters: A Journey Along the Genetic Frontier by Masha Gessen
In 2004 genetic testing revealed that Masha Gessen had a mutation that predisposed her to ovarian and breast cancer. The discovery initiated Gessen into a club of sorts: the small (but exponentially expanding) group of people in possession of a new and different way of knowing themselves through what is inscribed in the strands of their DNA. As she wrestled with a wrenching personal decision—what to do with such knowledge—Gessen explored the landscape of this brave new world, speaking with others like her and with experts including medical researchers, historians, and religious thinkers.
Blood Matters is a much-needed field guide to this unfamiliar and unsettling territory. It explores the way genetic information is shaping the decisions we make, not only about our physical and emotional health but about whom we marry, the children we bear, even the personality traits we long to have. And it helps us come to terms with the radical transformation that genetic information is engineering in our most basic sense of who we are and what we might become.
6. The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson
THE TRAITOR BARU CORMORANT is an epic geopolitical fantasy about one woman’s mission to tear down an empire by learning how to rule it.
Tomorrow, on the beach, Baru Cormorant will look up from the sand of her home and see red sails on the horizon.
The Empire of Masks is coming, armed with coin and ink, doctrine and compass, soap and lies. They’ll conquer Baru’s island, rewrite her culture, criminalize her customs, and dispose of one of her fathers. But Baru is patient. She’ll swallow her hate, prove her talent, and join the Masquerade. She will learn the secrets of empire. She’ll be exactly what they need. And she’ll claw her way high enough up the rungs of power to set her people free.
In a final test of her loyalty, the Masquerade will send Baru to bring order to distant Aurdwynn, a snakepit of rebels, informants, and seditious dukes. Aurdwynn kills everyone who tries to rule it. To survive, Baru will need to untangle this land’s intricate web of treachery – and conceal her attraction to the dangerously fascinating Duchess Tain Hu.
But Baru is a savant in games of power, as ruthless in her tactics as she is fixated on her goals. In the calculus of her schemes, all ledgers must be balanced, and the price of liberation paid in full.
7. Against A Brightening Sky by Jaime Lee Moyer
A ghost princess and a woman with nothing but a name to her fortune might change the course of history.
By 1919 the Great War has ended, peace talks are under way in Paris, and the world has been forever changed. Delia Martin, apprentice practitioner of magical arts, and her husband, Police Captain Gabriel Ryan, face the greatest challenge of their lives when fragments from the war descend on San Francisco.
As Delia prepares to meet friends at a St. Patrick’s Day parade, the strange ghost of a European princess appears in her mirror. Her pleasant outing becomes a nightmare as the ghost reappears moments after a riot starts, warning her as a rooftop gunman begins shooting into the crowd. Delia rushes to get her friends to safety, and Gabe struggles to stop the killing—and to save himself.
Delia and Gabe realize all the chaos and bloodshed had one purpose—to flush Alina from hiding, a young woman with no memory of anything but her name.
As Delia works to discover how the princess ghost’s secrets connect to this mysterious young woman, and Gabe tracks a ruthless killer around his city, they find all the answers hinge on two questions: Who is Alina…and why can’t she remember?
Against a Brightening Sky is the thrilling conclusion to Moyer’s glittering historical fantasy series.
At the end of August, I announced on my Facebook, Twitter, and here, that I was going to celebrate the one-month birthday of Dark Ascension by answering questions about the series. Any questions, I’d have answers for. Some really fun questions came in, so here are my answers on a number of subjects that have been close to people’s hearts — questions about the intricacies of vampire reproduction, whether Fort made a massively bad decision at the end of Dark Ascension, and also the really big question, which a lot of people have been asking, which is about the future of the series itself.
Before you go any further, keep in mind that there are HUGE SPOILERS for the events of Dark Ascension. If you haven’t finished the latest book, then you might want to go do that before you read all of these.
We’re all clear on that, right? Spoilers ahead? Okay, to the questions!
From Facebook, Soozy Peez asked:
Why does Chivalry insist on killing his wives as opposed to draining other victims?
I wanted the way that Prudence and Chivalry approach their feeding to reflect both their value systems and their weaknesses. For Prudence, feeding is entirely divorced from any kind of morality and sensibility – she selects a victim based on convenience to her, makes no effort to supplement her feeding with stocked blood (because, inconvenient and gross taste), and simply feeds from that individual until they are exhausted and need to be disposed of. Her body count is huge, but it doesn’t bother her, and she views this as the most practical approach possible.
Chivalry, however, is very different from his sister. Unlike his sister, for whom feeding is simply a bodily requirement, Chivalry has wrapped feeding up with emotionalism and romanticism. Feeding requires an element of intimacy, and Chivalry’s most formative years were during the 1860s – he’s a romantic guy, and I mean that in the Romantic sense. Chivalry’s wives become his focus for both a chunk of his nurturing impulses (it’s no accident that all of his wives who have been mentioned in the series have had some kind of passionate career or hobby – Chivalry thrives on being the supporting husband, and probably several of his past wives would get teary-eyed upon listening to “Wind Beneath My Wings”), the entirety of his sexual and romantic impulses, and, in addition, his blood requirements. The extent to which Chivalry idealizes and beatifies each individual wife results in him desiring for her to physically sustain him – he idealizes and loves her, and in return she is literally consumed by him until her death. Does Chivalry consciously realize this – no. He loves each wife with all the consuming (and, honestly, unhealthy) passion of the classic vampire lover. If confronted on how deeply problematic this love and its expression is, Chivalry would respond by referencing the truth and depth of his feelings – which is, much though he would like it to be, is a rationalization rather than a legitimate counter-point.
Fort has the morality his sister lacks, which has been stated overtly in the series many times so far, but also a willingness to critically self-analyze that is anathema to Chivalry (and which would’ve been brought out more in books 5 & 6). There’s also a strength to Fort that Chivalry lacks – Fort’s been in more than a few unhealthy relationships, but he was always the victim (his willingness to accept that – well, that’s one of Fort’s other issues) – if Fort was in a relationship and realized that it was toxic or damaging for the other person, he would walk away, regardless of his love for that person, or the pain that it would personally cause him. Chivalry would never do that – and has proven that in each of his marriages – and would probably package that answer in not just romantic ideals, but also in the defense that each woman knowingly chose her fate.
I’ve had a lot of fun with Chivalry during this series. He is the sibling of the three who is the most representative of vampire presentation in the media for the last thirty years – reader response to Chivalry from the first book was basically that he was universally beloved, and Prudence was hated. That was consistent with what my intentions had been for the book – and then for the series, one of my goals was to start shifting audience perception of these characters around until they had almost swapped places, but without ever compromising the essential integrity of who these two characters were.
On the website, Sigmacheck asked:
I can’t help but feeling that Prudence might be right in a horrible way and that Fort is being blinded by his emotions. Is Prudence correct that a territory can’t be run like Fort wants to do it? After all, Fort has no idea about the alternatives to his family’s way.
You’re not wrong. Fort is who we naturally empathize with because, firstly, he’s our hero, and secondly, he’s not a murdering psychopath. But just because we like him doesn’t mean that he’s right – particularly in this instance. One of the things that I really wanted to explore in this series was that the nice person with the best of intentions isn’t always the one with the answers. In Dark Ascension, both Prudence and Fort are unable to find compromise positions – they can’t give up even a little of what they feel is important, and so both are unable to get Chivalry’s swing vote. It’s a failing on both of their parts.
The events at the end of Dark Ascension were what I’d been moving toward since the beginning of this series. When the series was first picked up, it was called the American Vampire series (later it was changed to the Generation V series – causing, I’ll be honest, absolutely no end of confusion for series fans and panel moderators everywhere – why we didn’t just go with urban fantasy tradition in the beginning and call it the Fortitude Scott series, I just don’t know, but I’ll admit that part of that is just hindsight talking), and one thing that I really wanted to do was play on a part of American history that perhaps gets a little less play – the Articles of Confederation. Basically, having just wrested themselves from the control of England, the colonists were completely gunshy about having anyone in a position of authority to tell them what to do. The thirteen original colonies had a tremendous amount of personal autonomy, and what bound them all together was basically a mutual “Hey, bro, I’ve got your back (but not with the support of armies, centralized taxation, or regulation of interstate commerce).” It was a really nice and idealistic idea, failed kind of spectacularly, and was replaced with the Constitution and the institution of a federal government in 1789.
One of the first lines (if not THE first) of book five was going to be: “Democracy sucks.”
Had Madeline wanted, could she have used Fort’s host parents to have another child (after Fort, I mean)? Are the host parents naturally “one use only”?
Technically, yes. Functionally, no. Hosts have had about 99% of their blood supply replaced with vampire blood, which they cannot naturally replenish or even entirely maintain. For a vampire to maintain their two hosts is a massive and physically expensive undertaking – and maintaining a host through a successful pregnancy is even more draining. One of the reasons why killing both host parents immediately upon the successful birth of a baby vampire became common practice was basic self-interest – most vampire parents were simply exhausted and tapped out. Also, remember that Madeline’s parental responsibilities didn’t stop at the birth – she was Fort’s only safe blood source until his transition.
In terms of whether Henry and Grace could’ve physically conceived a second vampire baby after Fort’s birth, the answer is yes. Could Madeline have maintained that pregnancy, with its massive requirements of blood and energy, while also maintaining Fort through his vampire infancy? No, she simply would’ve been unable, and the vampire fetus would’ve died in utero. By the time she would’ve had the physical resources to attempt another vampire baby, about a century would’ve passed – and Henry and Grace would be dead of old age (even had Madeline been able to maintain them that long, which is also a question mark). Many vampires are able (and willing) to create no more than a single child during their entire lifespan. Two is considered unusual, and three is almost unheard of.
And, on Goodreads, November05 asked the big question:
Would you happen to know when the fifth book of the series will be released? I’m addicted.
This is a question that I’ve gotten a lot. Up until now, every time a Generation V book debuted, I already had a scheduled release date for the next book ready to be announced. Iron Night and Tainted Blood even came out in the same year!
When I originally sold this series to Roc, I had a completed draft of Generation V, and I signed a contract for a trilogy. By signing me for a trilogy, Roc was showing a commitment to my concept and giving me a chance to build up an audience – after all, this was my debut, and they had no way of knowing if I could sell a single book. If I think of urban fantasy as a genre, one of the things that really differentiates it from other types of fantasy is its feature of very long-running series. Think of the Mercy Thompson series, the Dresden Files, the Cal Leandros series, etc. Roc was hoping that my series could be one of those as well (and, let’s be honest, I was as well). The trilogy was intended as a test – neither Roc or I ever had any intention of Fort Scott’s story being tied up neatly by the end of the third book, and I designed my plotlines and my plans accordingly. (I actually plotted out six books)
What became apparent very quickly was that this series just wasn’t catching fire like Roc had hoped. There were lots of reasons for this – urban fantasy is a crowded marketplace with a lot of fantastic voices, vampires are so overplayed and sexualized that I think that 90% of potential fans went screaming in the other direction as soon as they even heard the word “vampire”, a lot of people picked up the first book expecting a paranormal romance and were pretty disappointed, a male lead who isn’t an alpha male who punches things a lot is a lot harder sell than I ever would’ve expected, the marketing and covers were a little disjointed, I’m not exactly a natural marketer, and probably a hundred other reasons. If Roc had had to make a decision about continuing the series or not in the months after Generation V came out, I can tell you with confidence that it wouldn’t have happened at all.
So there was a very sluggish sales start to the series. Generation V as a novel had a mixed reception – there were a lot of readers who were pleasantly surprised (and it got some incredible support from bloggers and reviewers who went on to be tireless cheerleaders of my quirky little series) and a bunch of others who were completely confused at what they’d just read. Thinking back, there were two main reactions: “This wasn’t the romance I was expecting, Fort is a doormat, and I hate this series,” and “I had to hear from five different friends that I needed to read this, and I expected this to be a disaster, but I loved it.” Believe me, that wasn’t quite the reception that Roc was hoping for.
Initial sales for Iron Night were a lot stronger than Generation V’s had been, but still not enough – I was told around that time that it wasn’t likely that there would be a fourth book. I was writing Tainted Blood at that time, so I made some adjustments accordingly – in my original plan, Madeline died at the conclusion of the third book, and the fourth book would be the immediate fallout from that event, but I just didn’t like the idea of potentially ending the series with an event that would never have its necessary payoff. I moved elements around until I had a book that I thought readers could be okay with if this was the end of the series. I had intended for Fort and Suze’s relationship to change in the third book, and that was something that readers had been very focused on in their feedback to me, so I hoped that it would be enough of a payoff.
What ended up happening was unexpected – the people watching the sales numbers began to feel optimistic about the series. Iron Night didn’t have a wave of initial sales, but the sales for Generation V perked up when the second book came out, and, for the first time, there began to be a lot of e-book sales in the series. There were apparently some discussions at the publisher, and what they ultimately felt was that there was a chance that the third book (which was at that point rumbling toward publication, as I’d already handed off the completed manuscript) could be the breakthrough moment that they’d been hoping for. And if that happened, they wanted the fourth book to be ready to go. So I was offered a contract to write a fourth book for the series – but only the fourth book, because Roc was very well aware that it might NOT result in the series hooking into the big sales that had been passing it by, and they didn’t want to be committed to a lot more books in a mid to low selling series.
I thought a lot about writing the fourth book. For one thing, it came with a pay cut – for reasons that I think are pretty reasonable from their end of things, Roc was not offering me as much money to write Dark Ascension as they had paid me to write each of the first three books. An industry professional who I respect very much advised me not to accept the contact and to put my efforts toward a new series instead. Ultimately, I did take the contract. Part of it was optimism – that bit of hoping against hope (and all previous evidence) that the series would actually start doing well. Mostly, though, I knew that the fourth book was when I was finally going to get to pull the trigger on a lot of key events that I’d been building toward – Madeline’s death, Fort’s transition, the first feeding on human blood, Fort’s first major loss, and the coup. I wanted to write it, and I really wanted all of the people who’d hung in there, read the series, talked about the series, and showed so much support to be able to see what happens (at least a little of it).
That’s why I signed the contract and wrote the book, so that’s why Dark Ascension exists at all. And I’m really proud of it, and pleased with it, even though it’s pretty clear at this point that there were a lot of readers who were really not okay with the sharp left that I took the series on. (for the record – yes, that was intentional. The first three books always had a murder mystery as the primary element with other plotlines brewing in the background, the second three were going to flip that ratio around and be much more about politics and factions, with a particular inciting incident going on in the background – in this case, the succubi. For one thing, I was getting tired of how formulaic it was getting, for another, that wasn’t who Fort was anymore – the problems had gotten bigger, and removing Madeline from the equation needed to destabilize everything – no more end scene where Mommy sorted everyone into their corners and tied up loose threads)
In terms of sales – Tainted Blood was the best that the series ever did. The best preorders, initial book sales, and initial e-book sales. You guys, the fans, you did everything you could, and I’m so incredibly grateful.
And then came the flatline. Because, unfortunately, this series never tapped in to the major urban fantasy market. Again, there are a hundred possible reasons for that. But when Dark Ascension came out, it had a good first week (again, you guys were so great with pre-orders and with buying in the first week), but it was an almost identical week as Tainted Blood. The series just hasn’t expanded, and Roc just isn’t going to continue a series with this level of readership. When I talk with authors who have been in the business ten or twenty years longer than I have, they say that things used to be different. Series were given longer to build audiences. There were series that were continued even when they didn’t have huge numbers. More publicity was given to the smaller authors and series. Would the Generation V series have been continued under those conditions? I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not.
This has been a very long way of answering what was a very simple question. I think part of that is because I hate to say “no” to that question. I had a lot of confidence in what I had planned for the fifth and sixth books, and I was excited about where things were going. There’s also a real feeling of disappointment to all of this – there’s a large part of me that feels like I failed. Now, I keep reminding myself that I didn’t – after all, I published four books with a major publisher! The books actually did sell copies! But it’s hard to shake that feeling, and it’s been a bit of a sad month for me.
Here’s the bottom line – I don’t have contracts for the remaining two books in the series. I have all of my notes and plans written down, but the books aren’t written, and without a contract in hand I am not going to write them. It would take me about six months to write each of the books, and that’s six months that I’m probably a lot better off devoting to a new series that had a chance of getting published. I’m actually working on a new series right now, which I’m very optimistic about.
Dark Ascension is, at the present time, probably going to be the final book for Fort Scott. It’s not where I had wanted to end the series, but if I had to end it early, it’s probably the best possible stopping point. It is, without a doubt, pretty sad. But I’m going to do the best thing I can, which is to move forward. After all, if I write something later that is a hit, and the Generation V series suddenly gets more attention, I can pick my old notes back up and write the last two books. This isn’t like Firefly – in a book, Nathan Fillion will always fit into his tight pants. Fort will always be waiting right where I left him – standing at the edge of a brave new world of idealism and individual voices that is, I assure you, about to go disastrously wrong.
Eight days until the 1-month anniversary of DARK ASCENSION! Whoa, that went fast!
To celebrate, I’m going to do a question-answering post! Do you have questions about the series, or questions about Dark Ascension in particular? Wonder why I did that particular thing there, or why that other thing happened, or what I have against bichon frises? ASK! Post questions here, on my Facebook, or toss them to me on Twitter (as spoilery as you want! the book has been out a month — GO CRAZY), and I’ll answer them in a week!
My brother sent me an email today! In it, he poses a thoughtful philosophical question, one that I believe many of the greatest minds of our generation have struggled with:
Good advice on Star Trek Enterprise… that’s turning out to be pretty entertaining background stuff during my model painting. I’m somewhere in season 2 right now.
I’m also watching Star Trek Voyager. UGHHH. These episodes are tough to make it through (exception for species 4572 episode was awesome). I realized pretty early on that I don’t find any of the characters compelling (possible exception for Janeway herself), and several of the characters (Paris, Neelix, Kess) are actually really annoying. But I figured, hey no problem, at least the ship battles will be cool with one technologically superior starship against hordes of Kazon and whatnot.
Except, no, the ship battles are NOT awesome, because Janeway always lets herself get shot at for 10 minutes and does nothing except get thrown around the bridge while shouting “Evasive maneuvers!” and “Damage reports!” And then when she finally remembers they have phasers on that ship, poor whiny Tom Paris informs her that all the phasers are burnt out and engines are offline, and they’re about to be boarded by aliens who can’t go faster than warp 4 and don’t even have transporters or shield technology! AAAGH!
So here’s the thing. I’m in the middle of season 4, probably near where I stopped watching when I left for college. Does this thing get any better?
Gentle readers, thoughts?
Today is a very big day! First, it’s been one week since Dark Ascension hit the bookstands — but more importantly, today I’m doing an AMA at Reddit where you can ask me any question you want, PLUS the winners of my huge giveaway on Reddit will be announced tonight at 9pm! Mere HOURS remain in that contest, but remember that you can still enter! Prizes on that range from a complete signed set of the four Generation V books to signed copies of Dark Ascension — and those will be shipped ANYWHERE!
To select the winners of the giveaway, I’ve chosen….. my friends! (no nepotism here, nosiree…) Basic information is below, and I’ll be updating this page after 9pm tonight to announce the giveaway winners!
Okay, here are the giveaway basics: There are going to be three sets of winners — The Big Kahuna wins a signed set of the complete series; The Four Lesser Kahunas each get a signed copy of Dark Ascension; and (on the urging of Judge Lish McBride), there will also be a few runner-up prizes for Kahunas-In-Training who will each win a signed copy of Iron Night.
Lish McBride was raised by wolves in the Pacific Northwest. It rains a lot there, but she likes it anyway. She spent three years away while she got her MFA in fiction from the University of New Orleans, and she liked that too, although the hurricane did leave much of her stuff underwater. She enjoys reading, having geek-laden conversations about movies, comics, and zombies with her friends, and of course trying to wear pajamas as much as humanly possible. Currently, Lish lives happily in Seattle where the weather never actually tries to kill you, with her family, two cats, and one very put-upon Chihuahua. She is slowly building her garden gnome army.
You may contact her on here (she tries to check it on a semi-regular basis) or at LishMcBride@gmail.com.
Lish’s Winner Selection:
I’m picking sekhmet4 because Saga is rad. That’s right, rad. It’s a beautifully done, vivid, gory, amazing story about two people from warring planets that essentially fall in love over a romance novel. And because Lying Cat.
My most recent SF/F laugh out loud moments are all from the comic series Saga. From the very first pages of the first issue where Alana is giving birth to her daughter, I laughed fairly regularly. The dialogue especially between the two main characters combined with the magic of Fiona Staples’s art was thoroughly entertaining. -sekhmet4
The two people talking up Scott Lynch should get some sort of honorable mention–I almost picked them because they both convinced me to actually read Scott Lynch. I’ve heard good things, but no one told me those books had some funny in them.
I share all my fantasy books with my younger cousins so that we can bond over good literature. I recently gave one of them The Lies of Locke Lamora while I was reading Red Seas Under Red Skies. Both books at points had us simultaneously laughing hysterically.
I’d love to snag copies of your books so that I could share them with the next generation. :) – jachreja
The four of our favorite characters from Lies Of Locke Lamora. I remember I was drinking watermelon juice when I read the below lines
“… It’s perfect! Locke would appreciate it.”
“Bug,” Calo said, “Locke is our brother and our love for him knows no bounds. But the four most fatal words in the Therin language are ‘Locke would appreciate it.'”
“Rivalled only by ‘Locke taught me a new trick,'” added Galo.
“The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora games …”
“… is Locke …”
“… because we think the gods are saving him up for a really big death. Something with knives and hot irons …”
“… and fifty thousand cheering spectators.”
just spit out red watermelon juice all over the book. Stained and now the book looks like a spectator in a gruesome vampire showdown. – arzvi
Max Gladstone is a two-time finalist for the John W Campbell Best New Writer Award, and a one-time finalist for the XYZZY Award. In July 2015 Tor Books will publish his next novel, LAST FIRST SNOW, a tale of zoning politics, human sacrifice, and parenthood. LAST FIRST SNOW is the fourth Craft Sequence novel, preceded by THREE PARTS DEAD, TWO SERPENTS RISE, and FULL FATHOM FIVE.
Max studied Chan poetry and late Ming dynasty fantasy at Yale; he lived and taught for two years in rural Anhui province, and has traveled throughout Asia and Europe. He speaks Chinese, can embarrass himself reading Latin, and is a martial artist, fencer, and fiddler. He’s also worked as a researcher for the Berkman Center for Internet and Policy Law, a tour guide for the Swiss Embassy, a go-between for a suspicious Chinese auto magazine, a translator for visiting Chinese schoolteachers, a Chinese philosophy TA, a tech industry analyst, and an editor. He has wrecked a bicycle in Angkor Wat, sung at Carnegie Hall, and been thrown from a horse in Mongolia.
Max’s Winner Selection:
Quote: “There. There,” said the marquis de Carabas, awkwardly, patting her shoulder. And he added, for good measure, “There.” He did not comfort well.
Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere
It wasn’t a very funny moment in the book but I laughed because that’s literally what I do when someone cries in front of me. –7el-3ane
Stephen Blackmoore is a pulp writer of little to no renown who once thought lighting things on fire was one of the best things a kid could do with his time. Until he discovered that eyebrows don’t grow back very quickly.
His first novel, a dark urban fantasy titled CITY OF THE LOST is out through DAW Books and is available at all the fashionable bookstores. Hopefully some of the seedier ones, too. He would, after all, like to buy a copy.
His short stories and poetry have appeared in magazines like Plots With Guns, Needle, Spinetingler, and Thrilling Detective, as well as the anthologies UNCAGE ME and DEADLY TREATS.
Despite evidence to the contrary, he does not have rabies.
Stephen’s Winner Selection:
Nah, fuck ’em.
I’m going with pitaenigma. Because 8-Bit Theater was awesome and because they clearly went through the whole thing to get the 4 White Mages joke. That’s commitment.
I’m gonna cheat and use a webcomic. Eight Bit Theater. If you haven’t read it, do yourself a favor and read it. If you have, I would like to mention the greatest brick joke in webcomic history. In the beginning of the comic strip, Black mage is running away from a giant. He consults a gaming magazine on the way and rejects one solution because it requires four White Mages to work. At the end, the Big Bad of the series reveals himself and is about to destroy the anti heroes and the world when he explodes. When the dust settles, what do we see? Four White mages. From set up to punchline it was nine years and about two thousand pages worth of comics.
Also I would like to mention another great joke but this one I won’t spoil. The identity of Sarda, the demented all powerful mage who has been toying with the party from the moment they met him.
Edit – In case you don’t accept webcomics (in which case shame on you) I have another one. In Scott Lynch’s The Lies of Locke Lamora we get the fantastic line ‘There’s a few things I’m going to ask him. Philosophical questions, like ‘How does it feel to be dangled out a window by a rope tied to your balls motherfucker?” You can’t deny the powerful imagery in the words of Scott Lynch. – pitaenigma
Django Wexler graduated from Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh with degrees in creative writing and computer science, and worked for the university in artificial intelligence research. Eventually he migrated to Microsoft in Seattle, where he now lives with two cats and a teetering mountain of books. When not planning Shadow Campaigns, he wrangles computers, paints tiny soldiers, and plays games of all sorts.
Django’s Winner Selection:
I hope this counts as technically it’s a graphic novel, but hey”
“There is no talking Back Here/ There is no unspoken Agreement to leave you with a scrap of dignity/ There is, in fact, no guarantee you’ll be able to walk out of here/ LISTEN TO THE CHAIR LEG OF TRUTH! IT DOES NOT LIE/ What does it say?/ It’s saying “Shut up Fred”!/ Can you hear it?”
Transmetropolitan #50 – Warren Ellis and art by Darick Robertson
I fell out of my chair laughing at this page. I love the idea that there is nothing more honest than a chair leg to the face. There is no ambiguity there. – 22cthulu
Though kudos to Imperial_Affectation for playing to the judges!
I was actually going to say Marcus d’Ivoire’s endless struggle to maintain era-appropriate views on gender roles in the face of ever-increasing evidence of how utterly inappropriate those views are in Wexler’s world, but then you went and named him as one of the corrupt judges. While I’m all for attempting to exploit the corruption inherent in your corrupt judicial panel, that might be a little much. >.>
Instead, I think I’m going to go with James S. A. Corey’s Leviathan Wakes. Corey is actually two authors (Daniel Abraham and Ty Franck) and in the first entry of their series they each write one of the two POV characters. Miller and Holden are diametrically opposed on just about everything. Miller wants to control the spread of information; Holden wants to broadcast it for all humanity to hear. Miller is perfectly happy using violence to solve problems; Holden feels compelled to be diplomatic. Miller’s chapters get progressively more depressing and obsessive; Holden’s chapters get progressively more manic. Miller pushes those closest to him away; Holden has a sort of innate magnetism that attracts all sorts of people (and not always for the best, as one of the later novels highlights).
The characters themselves don’t make terribly many jokes (though Miller makes an awful pun at one point and revels in it, since apparently he subscribes to /r/dadjokes), but the book itself is riddled with situational humor. Sometimes the two characters will have chapters that overlap a bit and you’ll see two completely different perspectives on the same exact events. Sometimes the non-POV character will say something to the POV character and all the POV character’s biases come into play and make the non-POV character sound like an idiot. And since the second half of the novel has lots of horror elements, the moments of humor tend to stand out a lot more than they would otherwise.
Plus there’s one point where Holden says something to the effect of, “this is literally the first time I’ve gotten off a ship without it blowing up.” It made me chuckle at the time. And then things got worse, which made it funnier. – Imperial_Affectation
T. Frohock has turned a love of dark fantasy and horror into tales of deliciously creepy fiction.She is the author of Miserere: An Autumn Tale, a dark fantasy, and has written several short stories. Her newest series, Los Nefilim, is coming from Harper Voyager Impulse and debuts in June 2015 with the novella, In Midnight’s Silence.
T. lives in North Carolina where she has long been accused of telling stories, which is a southern colloquialism for lying.
T’s Winner Selection (This is the BIG KAHUNA Prize!):
Nostalgia wins. I vote for mirrordog, simply because that Douglas Adams line is not only funny, but it’s also true. That, and his books made me laugh and laugh (Adams, not mirrordog). Right out loud. And we know how grim I am.
“The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe – mirrordog
I’m also picking sekhmet4 for my runner up, because Saga is perfect. It’s book about a book that changes two people and not only causes them to fall in love with one another, but also gives them the mettle to try and change the world(s) around them. Because that what good stories do. And it’s funny and entertaining … like ML, so it has ALL THE THINGS.
I’m going to go with Stardust. The Star has fallen from the heavens in a blaze of light and sound, and then:
And there was a voice, a high clear, female voice, which said “Ow”, and then, very quietly, it said “Fuck”, and then it said “Ow”, once more.
Reddit’s formatting doesn’t quite do it, but the “fuck” is printed in a very small font. It’s just such a human way to react that I had to laugh. – MikeOfThePalace
I’m currently listening to the books in Gail Carriger’s Parasol Protectorate series. There are so many sassy, humorous moments but the most recent one is the very title of a chapter: In Which The Meringues Are Annihilated. I just remember doing a double take when I heard it and couldn’t wait to hear what happens. All I’m going to say is– they did indeed get annihilated. – alter-EGG-o
BEHIND THE JUDGING CURTAIN EXCLUSIVE:
This is the email I sent after Lish and T sent in their winner info… and Max, Stephen, and Django had not.
Dudes? Did you notice how the ladies both made their selections in a timely and complete fashion?
And here’s the email Stephen sent back:
You’re saying you want the guys to be faster? Look, we’re not 17 anymore.
With just under a week left for the big giveaway at Reddit, I have an announcement that makes this giveaway even better!
What could possibly be better than me giving away 4 signed copies of Dark Ascension and 1 Big Kahuna prize of a complete signed set of the Generation V books and shipping all of that anywhere on Earth, you ask?
Sure, I could pull winners out of a hat. But what fun is that? None. None at all.
So to help out, I have assembled a lineup of amazing authors who all know their way around mixing funny stuff with the serious stuff. Remember, you still have eight days left to enter, and the winners will be announced during my AMA on August 11!
Judging team, assemble!
Stephen Blackmoore is the author of the Eric Carter series of LA noir necromantic urban fantasy, and he and I are such an unholy combination on Twitter that the Oatmeal Raisin Conspiracy recently featured us as a duo on their podcast. Will he find your entry sponge-worthy?
T. Frohock is known for her dark fantasy novel Miserere: An Autumn Tale (and for making everyone have to remember how to spell Miserere) and for her brand-new series of novellas from Harper Voyager Impulse! And if you’re not following her on Twitter, why on earth not? This tough critic of the hilarious will be awarding the Big Kahuna prize, so you’d better impress her!
Max Gladstone writes the Craft sequence of books, which is so acclaimed that he was featured on NPR’s book blog! This is a guy who knows his way around a good skeleton-drinking-coffee joke, so can you impress him with your entry?
Lish McBride writes the awesome Necromancer series, and her protagonist, Sam, would absolutely be besties with Fort Scott. With an MFA in hilarity and a penchant for kelpies in cardigans, can your entry catch her honed eye?
Django Wexler splits his time between flintlock fantasy where a rugged army commander fails to realize that half of his fighting force consists of cross-dressing women and middle-grade fiction that features sarcastic and delightful talking cats. With such a wide range, can your entry sight in on his target?
Wow, that release date just gets closer and closer, doesn’t it? Weird. Just one more week now!
Some fun stuff to keep everyone entertained until then:
Another advance review in, this time Mogsy from The Bibliosanctum:
I’m practically bursting with questions and anticipation for the next book. I know I’ve said it before but I’ll happily say it again and again: M.L. Brennan’s Generation V series is simply wonderful, featuring a unique world filled the most incredible and unique paranormal beings you’ll ever meet. Without a doubt, this is one of the most fun, refreshing and addictive urban fantasy series you can find on the shelves right now, with each book bringing a new adventure and plenty of surprises. If you haven’t started yet, run—don’t walk—to your nearest bookstore and pick up the first book. I really can’t wait to see what Fort and Suze will be up to next.
Also, I did a podcast on Sunday with the Oatmeal Raisin Conspiracy — basically they brought me and Stephen Blackmoore on, then just sat back and watched the stream-of-consciousness-insanity fly. The whole thing is two hours, and we do each talk about our own series and approaches to writing a bit, but of course we also discuss the really important stuff, which gave the episode its name: “Botanist Erotica.” Good times!
We’re in the single-digit countdown now, dear readers, so if you can, please do pre-order your copies of Dark Ascension wherever you prefer to purchase your books! Or, if you can’t afford to buy it, please pester your local library to get a copy! Thanks so much!
A VERY exciting start to the day — two advance reviews of Dark Ascension were posted today, and both give the book 5 out of 5 stars!
Check it out!
Melliane at Between Dreams and Reality writes:
…Fort will also have to face the effects of his vampire change, increasingly present and that will change him more than he could think. This is really not easy to manage. Yet it was fascinating to see him evolving and changing during the course of history, to accept his fate and to try to move ahead.
And Ria at Bibliotropic writes:
What it comes down to is this: the status quo of both the in-book world and the books themselves was established, and Dark Ascension breaks it and takes things in a couple of unexpected directions. It’s got so many beloved aspects that the series has become known for, as well as some new insights that take things to a different level. It’s a great book, a worthy addition to the series, and from the ending, the ride isn’t over yet!
Pretty exciting stuff! Twelve days left until the release date, so if you want to get your hands on a copy, here’s what you can do:
Enter to win one signed copy of Dark Ascension or a complete signed set of the Generation V series over at Reddit.
Enter to win one of five signed copies of Dark Ascension at Goodreads.
It’s only two more weeks until the Dark Ascension release! EVERYONE PANIC!!!!
A bit of business — if you want a signed copy of Dark Ascension, then there are three ways that you can get them.
1. Win one in my Reddit giveaway! (1 full set of the series + 4 signed copies of Dark Ascension will be given away — contest ends August 11)
2. Win one in my Goodreads giveaway! (5 signed copies will be given away — contest ends August 3)
3. Check out the Signed Copies portion of this website and order a copy through an independent bookstore.
Is it still only two weeks until the book comes out? Yes? I HOPE EVERYONE IS STILL PANICING, BECAUSE I SURE AM!